Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
