How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You left your phone here
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