how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
