In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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