On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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