i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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