i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
