I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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