So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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