We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
