I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
