I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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