Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
