Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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