I think I died a long time ago.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
