Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
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