dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
