ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
