I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
