Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
