Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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