I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
