yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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