Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
