Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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