around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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