You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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