I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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