best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
