also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
