I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
