I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
