I like to think it a success when the cops are called
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
