She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
