Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
