I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
