32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
