Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
