somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
