that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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