Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
