apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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