i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
