I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize