I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
