I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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