dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
