I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
