Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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