She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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