Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
