I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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