Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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