fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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