3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
