Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
where does the pee come out of this thing
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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