girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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